Day in the Life

6:30am My husband wakes me up. I pull the covers over my head for 30 more minutes.

7:00am I only get up because I have to pee. I then contemplate going back to bed, but use all my courage to get out of my room (yes, I said my room – my husband and I have separate bedrooms, another post). I wrestle with the shower situation – should I shower, and I if I do, should I wash my hair. I decide yes shower, no hair wash. Grooming is kept at an absolute minimum.

7:05am Shower done, husband says goodbye. He also tells me if I go to the store, we need bacon and coffee. I freak out and yell "DO WE HAVE COFFEE THIS MORNING?" He says we do and all is well again.

7:10am I go to wake up my older son Hollis, who pulls the covers over his head. I think "Why the hell can't he just wake up and get ready? Why does he take so long to wake up?" I do not notice the irony of the thought.

7:15am I make the children breakfast. Peanut butter sandwich for Max, the two year-old, and Rice Krispies no milk for Hollis. Nutrition is obviously not a priority in this family.

7:30am I announce it is time to start getting ready to get in the car. Children complain that they need to finish their breakfast – which they have not been eating because they have been playing. I think "Why can't they just eat?" again, with no irony.

7:45am Drop Max off at his daycare. He barely notices when I leave.

8:00am Walk Hollis in to his new school, where he throws his coat on the floor. We struggle with him picking it up, and I finally leave.

8:05am Get to work late, as always. Work till 3:30, but spend numerous hours searching the web. Always get all my work done, but still have about 5 hours per day to surf. Am I truly a wonderkind at my job, or an underachiever not living up to her potential?

3:45pm Pick Hollis up and brace myself for the daily behavior report.

4:00pm Pick up Max, who is almost always in a good mood.

4:15pm Get home and make the children a quick snack. Change out of work clothes as quickly as possible, and put on sweat pants, t-shirt, and leisure bra. Ah ha, my bra thinks I am a woman of leisure!

4:30pm Get on the couch with children and we watch Noggin until about 6pm. It's not considered using TV as a babysitter when you watch it with your children.

6pm Notice it is dark and husband will be home soon. Dinner needs to be considered. Half of the time I cook something dreadful for us, and feed the children chicken nuggets, fake chicken nuggets, or fake corn dogs. The other half of the time my husband comes in after working all day, AND commuting to Greenville, and then he cooks. Bless him.

7pm Husband begins to bathe the children. Yes, he bathes the children. He and I take turns reading to Max, and then I read to Hollis and he tells Hollis a story.

8:30pm I go lie down in husband's bed (he has a TV in his room) and I watch TV. Husband goes downstairs to exercise, or goes running. Seriously.

10pm Husband comes in the bedroom to "talk". I mentally calculate the chances of sex, taking into consideration my mood, how recently we had sex, and how tired I am. You can guess what usually wins.

10:30pm Lights out and dreams for another day of doing it all again.

Wow! Written down this looks fairly pitiful. I know friends who exercise, help their children with their homework (which thank Zeus we don't have anymore because of Montessori), go to church, cook amazing food, and then make their children practice their numerous musical instruments, take them to karate/ballet/tai chi/latin class, and still manage to do their husband three ways to Sunday.

Being a mother and a "homemaker" has been one of the hardest things for me to get right, which I never do. I am mostly patient with my children, don't spank, and treat them with respect, but man, that literally takes all my energy. Everything else just slides away.

Use this as you will, either to feel better about your own skills, or to know there is another struggling with this as well.

Oh, and I forgot to add, all of my "accomplishments" are assisted with 20mg of Paxil per day. I can't even fathom what I would be like au naturel!