I was at a lovely Mexican restaurant with my children and husband for dinner tonight. The sweet young hostess even put the tv near us on Nickelodeon so the children would zone out while eating and Marty and I could talk. Bliss.
When the next show came on, she comes up and says, "Are you ok with your kids watching Spongebob? Do you want me to change the channel?"
I smile and say "Oh no, we have been watching Spongebob for years. I love it, and know all the episodes by heart." It's true. My favorite line is Patrick laughing and saying "Hahahaha, it's a giraffe!"
She says, "Well, I don't let my 21/2 year old daughter watch it because some people think Spongebob is . . . you know, GAY! I don't want her to be exposed to that."
I am horrified. I did not know people like this existed apart from the "Good" Reverend Jerry Falwell; I thought it was just a myth. I mean, for Christ sake, he is a sponge! Although I guess Patrick did dress up as a girl once, and Spongebob and he did adopt that clam together. . . but it's a cartoon!
I just smile and nod, and hope she goes away.
The rest of the meal was good, but it stuck with me. And then, in my mind, I replaced gay with black, or Jewish, or Muslim, or anything this young girl might have been afraid of. I decided I had to say something.
As I got my sons' coats from her, I thanked her profusely for her assistance in making our evening enjoyable. I then leaned in, when no one else was there and said, "You need to be careful about talking poorly about gay people with strangers. You don't know me, and you don't know what I think. I have friends and family members who are gay, and I don't appreciate it."
She mumbles some apology about also having gay friends, and how sorry she is, and whatever.
I smile sweetly, and tell her "Also, Spongebob is a sponge. Sponges are asexual invertebrates – just so you know."
I felt so smug and self-aware and proud of myself. And I still am.
But I just wiki'ed sponges, and goddammit, they reproduce sexually!
GOOD FOR YOU! You handled that brilliantly.
Good for you Heidi!! I am glad you said something to her!! I get sooo agravated with people being so damn closed minded and ignorant…Volker (my husband and I) love the south–but I swear, I wish some people were a little more open minded…that’s ok about the sponge thing too– I am a bio major and I didn’t question the asexual comment(I do think it is the star fish that reproduces asexually though—so hey, that would pertain to Patrick!!)Have a good one!
Heidi, this made me laugh. When I was teaching at Hendrix in District 2, we got a huge memo from the principals about not using anything Sponge Bob in our classroom. NO stickers, rewards, etc. All because of the ” Sponge Bob is Gay” rumors that were going around. I thought it was crazy!
I’ll tell you another controversial thing or two about sponges…
Bill O’Reilly thinks they’re sex toys.
They are used as contraceptives.
They are used to clean up messes – of ALL types.
Thankfully, the cartoon has tastefully chosen to not focus on these facts. Really, in some small ways, the show even teaches a little about science.
When my son had to do a book report about Skeletons, I told him that some of the “people” on a cartoon he watched didn’t have Skeletons. We talked about how Mr. Crabs has an exoskeleton, how Patrick has no skeleton at all, and how Sandy has a skeleton.
Then I said, “Spongebob doesn’t have a skeleton.” But I was quickly reprimanded because in one episode Spongebob’s skin is ripped off and he has a skeleton – I think it has to do with Halloween – but at any rate, in that detail they got it wrong. I’ll forgive them.
What?! Spongebob is gay? Oh, and I had a massive crush on him… :(
D.
Just dropping in from Stumble. I just wanted to tell you that this post made my life. Seriously.
Glad you liked it!!
The gay ones don’t reproduce sexually! hahaha
Handled brilliantly, though. I highly doubt that anyone who would say such things to a stranger would bother looking it up…maybe just to find out what ‘asexual’ and ‘invertebrate’ mean, because, let’s face it…do ya really think she knows? :)