However, when the disagreements are between women, certain people like to paint them as “catfights”, which lessens the seriousness of ALL involved (full disclosure – I, Heidi Anderson, am certain people). Women are not a monolithic group, and although many of us call ourselves skeptics AND feminists, we often can not agree on whether skepticism needs feminism, or feminism needs skepticism. Others shun the term feminist completely.

Some disagree with sexy behavior at cons, and others think it is good light-hearted fun that brings in people who may normally think skeptics are stodgy old white dudes. Or ONLY stodgy old white dudes. We have disagreements on sexuality, pornography, prostitution, and even things that do not specifically involve women at all (imagine that!) We are labeled too confrontational or too gentle depending on our methods of outreach.

And you know what? None of that matters. While we are busy using our freedom to prove ourselves different from our allies on the side of reason, a 42 year old mother of two in Iran is facing a death sentence resulting from a forced confession of adultery. She will be buried up to her chest, and stoned to death. Small stones will be used, so as to slow down her death and cause her more pain. And her “confession”? According to a human rights attorney, it was only gained after 99 lashes.

So, as TAM8 approaches, and friends gather, and we have panels on women in skepticism, and skepticism and feminism, and all sorts of things that we as Westerners have the luxury of thinking about, is it too much to ask the skeptical community and blogosphere to investigate this story, and see what REAL DIFFERENCES we can make? Can we step outside, as my friend Will Phillips said, “our tiny little mind boxes” and remember that as we wage these petty wars on each other, a war against reason continues to rage across the globe, with a 42 year old mother of two poised to become the next victim.

Stop Stoning Now

Letter from Sakine’s Children

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This post, (S)He Without Sin (My Post from SheThought.com), originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on July 6, 2010.

TAKING power through owning your sexuality lasts your whole life.

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This post, On Sex and Power, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on June 2, 2010.

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This post, THIS is How You Protest in a Tank Top, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on April 29, 2010.

So surely this means I am whipping those sweater puppies out today for Boobquake right?

No. Boobquake bothers me. And not for the reasons many people think.

First, I hate empty protests. You can only raise awareness so much before you need to act. And raising awareness with people who are already aware is just preaching to the choir.

I had this argument with people about the “green screens for Iran” and the debate about calling for the arrest of the Pope. Talking about things all day long is great and can make you feel good and smart. But to accomplish anything in this world, you have to do work. And do you know why its called work? BECAUSE IT IS WORK!

Social justice movements are not fun. I wonder how fun it was for Rosa Parks to sit in the front of that bus, without even an iPod to block out the people screaming at her? I wonder if Malcolm X was just tempted to wear a t-shirt with a witty saying instead of standing up in front of people who wanted to kill him? Maybe Martin Luther King would have accomplished just as much with an Equality Ho Down in Alabama? Or maybe instead of collaborating with Theo Van Gogh on the film Submission (for which he was ultimately murdered) Ayan Hirsi Ali could have just gone to Cabo for Spring Break and convinced some of the Girls Gone Wild crew to help her write Koran verses on naked young white women? Not so powerful, is it?

Aside from the fact that it could be considered not only EXTREMELY culturally insensitive for American women to shove our freedom in the face of Iranian women, how many of the women who participated in Boobquake normally dress modestly? Based on comments, not many. Many of the women just seemed so excited to have a day to “show off the girls!”

And therein lies my second point. EVERY DAY should be a day when you feel comfortable expressing your sexuality and seeking sexual attention. Why has this event taken off like it did? Could it be that there is STILL shame in women expressing their sexuality? Of course there is!

But you don’t need a fake protest, catcalls from supportive men, alcohol, or the approval of your friends to be sexual. If you dress in a sexual manner, some people will think you are slutty. If you dress in a modest manner, some people will not give you the time of day. But the way we use Halloween, Girl’s Night Out, and now Boobquake as holidays in which “good girls” are given permission to be sexual pisses me off. You don’t NEED permission. You just need courage, and the willingness to take responsibility for your decisions. Part of that responsibility means being willing to give up the labels of good girls and bad girls, and just be.

Sexuality is a part of each of us, and people should feel comfortable expressing that in ways they find comfortable. Just don’t hide your need for sexual expression under the guise of the greater good. Because when you do so, you imply that sexual expression for its own sake is invalid. And to me, the greatest reason to be sexual is the pleasure of sexuality itself.

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This post, But, But, But . . . Surely YOU Support Boobquake!!! Right??, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on April 26, 2010.

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This post, Science in South Carolina – No! Seriously!, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on February 1, 2010.

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This post, Whores, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on January 30, 2010.

These are the females mainstream society holds up as the ideal.

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This post, Sexies, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on January 30, 2010.

This is the group considered not sexual enough for mainstream approval.

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This post, Prudes, originally appeared on The Fat One in the Middle on January 30, 2010.