When I was a little girl, I told my mother I wanted to be a firefighter and ballerina. Despite showing a clear path to my later sexuality, that career plan was abandoned when I discovered that both required me to get off the couch.

Now, after 15 years in the sexual assault/domestic violence victim services field, and almost 8 years of doing a mediocre job as a human growth and development facilitator to the Wild Boys of Borneo, my mind is looking onward of what I want to be when I grow up.

How can you help? You can spend 5 minutes and take this survey. How can you hurt? You can spend 5 minutes and take this survey and answer each question in an ironic hipster fashion.

So if you want to help me, or fuck with my life in a cruel fashion, here you go:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PZ53832